I’ve spent so much time and energy publicizing, distributing, and writing about the artwork of those I admire but often pull this self defeatist move where I only tell people about my readings a day or two before hand. That way, if the person says they can’t come, it’s not because they don’t care but because they were too busy, and I save myself from the humiliation of rejection. Fortunately I’ve come to realize this this misguided little selfdefense mechanism no longer serves me.
A friend of mine (for whom I had just organized a reading) confided in me that there was a time at which she only organized shows & readings for others. She looked me in the eye as we sat drinking Hefeweizen at a trendy brewery in Oakland and said “you have done your time as an arts programmer.” I was silent, I knew I couldn’t come back to her with the “I know but I do it for the community” bullshit I’d been feeding myself foe the past five years. Her words were particularly inspring because she’s my favorite writer on contemporary feminist theory. She didn’t write her first book, which is pretty much required reading for anyone with any interest in feminist studies and contemporary queer theory, until she was in her forties and her challenge to me to focus on my own work really stuck with me.
So this is me inviting you to come hear me read just nineteen and a half hours before it’s time to step up to that mic. If you can make it (and you’re not busy and you don’t think I’m stupid), please bring a light jacket as I’ve been told we may be on the patio.
It will be a joy to see you.
I’ll be reading an excerpt from a sweet story I’ve just written about two queer girl sex workers who meet on a porn set , become smitten with one another and proceed to make a lot of straight vanilla porno squares, very very uncomfortable. I’ll be be in the company of some really phenomenal writers including Andrea Lambert and one of my dearest friends, Debra Simone.
You should come. I promise I’ll do my best to make you laugh.